To quote John Mayer “Gravity is working against me, and gravity wants to bring me down.”
I will never forget on my 40th birthday a co-worker was playing John Mayer on his computer and when John’s mellow voice started singing “Gravity” my co-worker, yes a male co-worker, said “Hey Tisha, This song is dedicated to you!” Well at the time I found it hilarious but now……. NOT! Everytime I hear that song I think of that co-worker and how I would really love to strangle him! Damn! I really liked that song!
I was reminded of this story yesterday when my hubby’s iphone showed me what gravity was all about. He was doing a little pay back for a birthday picture I posted of him on facebook. Hey, I thought it was cute!
Well, I knew I was asking for trouble and payback was coming! Yesterday reality bite me in the butt! Which if I don’t get back to squats & lunges reality will have to lay down on the floor to bite me in the butt! Yes, Rusty took a naked picture of me with his phone. He had no intention of letting anyone else see it and gave me the phone laughing so I could delete it. His method of torture for the Facebook picture. I looked at it real briefly, threw up a little in my mouth and deleted it! Babe, you got me good! Not Funny! It was a side view of me bending over! Can you say Moo! It was udderly the worst picture I have ever seen of myself! Rusty, bless his pea picking heart, saw nothing wrong with it. But girls, you know how critical we are of our bodies and that picture, Siskel & Ebert would have given it two udders down! Ha! Just made myself laugh!
When I was in my early 30’s a wise southern belle gave me some advice. She told me if I was going to be on top when having a little hanky panky, her words, to not look down or do it with the lights off because he would see my “old face” . No, not “O” face but “OLD FACE”. She told me if I took a hand mirror and laid it on a chair or bed then lean over and look into it I could see what he saw. So yes, I tried it. OMG! OMG! What the hell was that! After totally putting myself in shock with “OLD FACE” there is no way I would ever look at my va-Jay Jay in a mirror! Never figured out what that was all about! That was in my early 30’s! No way in hell I would look in that mirror now!
So ladies, the reality of aging sucks and if you’re not rich you can’t do much about it. My advice is…….Love yourself & your body, don’t look in mirrors laying on the ground and laying on your back will make you look 10 years younger! Whoop Whoop!
John Mayer- ”
Life as a Middle Aged Woman 