It’s time! The tomatoes are starting to ripen and our mouths are watering! Yes when that time comes even I forget about the fat in the mayo and the white flour in the bread. My mouth is watering just thinking about it! Rusty suggested that I put his “recipe” on my blog.
——First you walk out your back door and look for the ripest tomato. Gently remove it from its home. Now bring it into the kitchen and place somewhere your wife won’t find it because you fear she might turn it into a salad. Let it relax for a few days to make sure it’s juices will be flowing with the first pierce of the knife.
—-After a few days of dreaming about its sweetness and lush red skin, bring it from its hiding place. Make sure wife is not at home. Gently bath it and dry it with the softest cloth. While it is resting from its spa treatment get out two slices of soft, fresh, white, Bunny Bread. Now for the Blue Plate Mayo. Apply a nice coat of mayo on one side of both fluffy slices.
—Now for the sacrifice…… take the tomato and cradle it in your hand. Tell it that this is its destiny. It was grown for this moment. Tell it you will be gentle. Now bring your other hand from around your back where you have been hiding a very sharp knife and plunge it into it’s taunt red skin. With your blade make the first slice . Then another.
——Gracefully lay the slices on the bed of mayo. Oh, don’t forget the sprinkling of salt and pepper! Cover the slices with the other slice of bread out of respect.
—-Now you are ready for that first bite. The sweet bite that releases the juices which run down your throat and hand. Your eyes roll in your head and you hear the moans come from your throat. ( A tomato sandwich makes his eyes roll and moan! OMG! My competition is a tomato sandwich!)
Well that is Rusty’s Perfect Tomato Sandwich… Gotta go now.. found his hiding place! Can’t wait to carve up the bitch! Ha!