Gravity………Do I Have to Say Anything Else?!!

To quote John Mayer “Gravity is working against me, and gravity wants to bring me down.”

  I will never forget on my 40th birthday a co-worker was playing John Mayer on his computer and when  John’s mellow voice started singing “Gravity” my co-worker, yes a male co-worker, said “Hey Tisha, This song is dedicated to you!”  Well at the time I found it hilarious but now……. NOT!  Everytime I hear that song I think of that co-worker and how I would really love to strangle him!  Damn! I really liked that song!

   I was reminded of this story yesterday when my hubby’s iphone showed me what gravity was all about.  He was doing a little pay back for a birthday picture I posted of him on facebook.  Hey, I thought it was cute!

Well, I knew I was asking for trouble and  payback was coming!  Yesterday reality bite me in the butt!  Which if I don’t get back to squats & lunges reality will have to lay down on the floor to bite me in the butt!  Yes, Rusty took a naked picture of me with his phone. He had no intention of letting anyone else see it and gave me the phone laughing so I could delete it.  His method of torture for the Facebook picture.  I looked at it real briefly, threw up a little in my mouth and deleted it!  Babe, you got me good! Not Funny!  It was a side view of me bending over! Can you say Moo!  It was udderly the worst picture I have ever seen of myself!  Rusty, bless his pea picking heart, saw nothing wrong with it.   But girls, you know how critical we are of our bodies and that picture,  Siskel & Ebert would have given it two udders down! Ha! Just made myself laugh!

 

 

 

 

 

 

  When I was in my early 30’s a wise southern belle gave me some advice.   She told me if I was going to be on top when having a little hanky panky, her words, to not look down or do it with the lights off because he would see my “old face” .  No, not “O” face but “OLD FACE”.  She told me if I took a hand mirror and laid it on a chair or bed then lean over and look into it I could see what he saw.  So yes, I tried it.  OMG! OMG!  What the hell was that!  After totally putting myself in shock with “OLD FACE”  there is no way I would ever look at my va-Jay Jay in a mirror!  Never figured out what that was all about!  That was in my early 30’s!   No way in hell I would look in that mirror now!

  So ladies, the reality of aging sucks and if you’re not rich you can’t do much about it.  My advice is…….Love yourself & your body, don’t look in mirrors laying on the ground and laying on your back will make you look 10 years younger! Whoop Whoop!

John Mayer- “

“Whoa gravity, stay the hell away from me!”     YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!
This entry was posted on August 10, 2012, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Facebook…The Good, The Bad, The Ugly!

  Once up a time, I thought facebook was the greatest thing.  I have reconnected with long-lost friends,and connected with new ones.  It keeps me in the loop with long distance family and even ones that are 30 minutes away. With pictures I can be right there at my nephews ball games and see my nieces in their beautiful dresses heading out to a dance.  I have been able to see when a new baby is coming into the world or someone has lost a loved one.  The jokes make me laugh and the motivational quotes keep me on track.  I even don’t mind the frustrated, who had someone take their parking spot or talk of the rude cashier,  But……and I mean a BIG BUT….. Facebook has also become a place for people to be hurtful, vengeful, and two-faced! Cyber bullying, trash talk, and ugly personal comments.  It’s childish and as a few of my christian friends would “Jesus doesn’t like ugly!”  If you have a personal issue with a family member or friend that is something you should handle personally with that said person.  The comments can back fire and make you look like a real shithead.

   Do you realize that when one makes comments via text, e-mail or messages they don’t always read like they were ment.  Mis-commutation!  What really scares me are the comments that are made by professional, teachers, daycare workers, self employed, etc…… you should really choose your words wisely because it could come back to bite you in the ass and hurt business. We all need to vent, that is why I have this blog, or my friends & I had what we called  a “Bitch Lunch” where we can just get stuff off our chest.  I have seen some real psycho comments on facebook lately! That kind of public display can get someone hurt or in trouble.  Really think before you type! That is one good thing about computer communication, you can proof read and delete those hurtful words. The problem………..no one proof reads anymore! Oops! It’s now there for everyone to see!  It sure can delete a friendship real quick!

  It’s alright for one to give their opinion, Oh yea I did hear something about the freedom of speech, think for yourself, be your own person,….. but when someone else doesn’t agree with the other, that person is bashed and criticized!   You laugh, cry, drink, have deep conversation with people you know all your life and you find out the other person does not have the same views as you,  now does make them a bad person?

 

Oh and let’s not forget all the political comments! There is enough political “shit” slinging on TV and newspaper and now friends are slinging it on Facebook! It has gotten way out of hand! I am sure there are facebook pages that everyone with their political views can get on to argue, threaten and get nasty to each other.  It’s everyone’s right to post what they want but don’t hate just because someone is not playing on your team!

  My solution……I now hide status updates and if I want to see if anything new is happening in that friend’s life I go to their wall page.  It makes for a much brighter & healthier day!

 I am not pointing a finger any particular people and I do love you all, but if you are offended by this you must be….., well I leave the rest up to you.   If you are now pissed at me then oh well, get over it.   I do, all the time!

Climbing Out of the Pit of “My Ass is Just Not Motivated!”

  Yep…….I have been in that pit for a year now and it’s time to drag my ass out of it!  I have also been tripping into pot holes of self-pity.  This middle-aged woman really needs a swift kick in the butt for letting time slip by like it has.  Life is short….and if you’re not happy with it, do something about it!

  Oh poor me…..my friends don’t care, my family don’t care, my grammar really sucks,  my job has no stability, I’m old, I’m fat, blah, blah, blah!  OMG! Who the hell is this person?!  I can no longer let this bitch dictate my life!  Time to step in the cage and kick box her ass back to where she came from! 

  So now it’s time to drown self-pity in the lake of bullshit. Get on with the ideas and dreams I have for myself!  She on her way to the bottom of the lake!

  Motivation, hello, where are you?  I have the rope so now it’s time to build the strength to pull my ass out of the pit.

  Who has not gone through this? There is always that “I’ll do it tomorrow.” Ok, there is always a tomorrow but her lately if it doesn’t get done today, it doesn’t get done. That has been my life this past year.  I have some wonderful career opportunities and if I don’t I don’t take charge of it today it will always be another tomorrow.

 So how am I motivating myself?  I am starting with visuals. I am making a visual poster of where I want to be in a year with my life. Something that I can look at everyday. I am putting it on my bedroom wall so I will see it when I wake up everyday. Next I have a calendar with monthly goals that I want to accomplish penciled in. I do a weekly to do list and every night I make a list of to do’s for the next day.  I know…it’s a lot of list, but these days this is the only way I can keep on track.

  Now maybe I really do need to take up kickboxing.  Not only to get rid of negative energy but to also do something about all this jiggling I am feeling when I am walking around Wal-mart craving a bag of bbq potato chips, which I do buy and eat on my way home!  My diet has gone to crap so my energy level is missing in action.  It is also not helping the root of all this evil. When I was a health nut I was energetic, healthy, happy & motivated. So it’s time to bring the nut back!! Hello wheat germ & bee pollen!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ladies…..I am ready to welcome back the old/new me because this chick sucks!

This entry was posted on July 14, 2012, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Hot Flashes….Not yet!

Well I went to the dreaded doctors appointment a couple of days ago and it wasn’t bad.  I was ready for the remarks but nothing was mentioned about my weight and the Doc  said I don’t seem to be showing any signs of menopause and might not see signs till I get in my 5o’s.  Great! Then why the hell bring it up the past two years!  I wonder has he already had some crazed lady who he called fat and old go off on him?  Hummm….

  I now know for sure I am not having hot flashes but my boss is!  I am watching it snow in my office and ice is forming in my water bottle! I have put the thermostat on 70 twice, I would love to put it on 72 but thought I would be fair.  Some how it keep going back to 68!  Again he is setting it on freezing then leaving the building.  I keep a jacket in my office but now I need mittens and a hat!

  OMG! Some advice from me……check the washing machine before washing your undies!  I was in a rush the other morning and grabbed a pair of panties to put on. I got my jeans on and felt something odd on my left butt cheek.  I reached back there and what the Hell!  A brillo pad!  It had a some point got mixed up with some laundry and got stuck on my draws!  Well I tossed it in the trash and took off to start my day.  The only problem was all day I was getting pricked in the buttocks by tiny pieces of steel wool that was stuck in my panties! I couldn’t get my panties off fast enough when I got home 9 hours later!  When I flew through the house Rusty asked me if I had a fire in my pants and I replied,”No, Just a bunch of pricks.”

Have a great weekend!

 

This entry was posted on March 2, 2012, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Hello, It’s Me!

Where the hell does the time go!  Most days I am going in such full gear I have to wear my glasses on back of my head just to see where I’ve been!

  Well last year was very eventful and this year is full of new experiences.  The camp is coming along and there is always something happening there.  I haven’t jumped any sand dunes lately or drove the wheels off the ATV but over the holidays I did get it stuck really good! The agreement was if I got up, on a cold December morning, and checked on the boat, Rusty would cook breakfast. Well I suited up and took off to the boat. Everything was hunky dory, I know you won’t  that in the dictionary, and was on my way back when I got a little off trail. Oh Crap! I tried, I really tried because the last thing I wanted to do was call Rusty but to my avail that beast was not going to come out.  In fact I think I made things worse. So I sucked it up and called “The Man”.  He came to my rescue even though I was on the end of a shovel trying to help dig out some of the mud!

 

  Well it has been months since I have been to the gym and I feel like a big bag of fluff! And boy do I jiggle! Lucky me, I get to go to my yearly OGBYN visit next week to get told that I am old and fat! I pay the doctor enough money that I should hear “Mrs. Smith! You should be a show girl!”  not, “Mrs. Smith, menopause is just around the corner and you need to watch your weight.”    According to that stupid BMI chart I am borderline obese!   A man came up with that, I know he did. I am going to google it!  There again, why would my blood pressure be high when I see the Doc! Oh it doesn’t end there!  I look at my bill and there is an “Over 40″ charge!  Come on! 

  Ok…..this is a good one! I went to a photography convention /expo and at the expo one of the vendors was giving out fortune cookies.  I waited till I got to one of my classes, opened my cookie and what did it say “Oops…..wrong cookie!”  What the!!!!  Life is like a box of chocolates my ass, more like a box of fortune cookies!

 

This entry was posted on February 23, 2012, in Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Happy 2012!

Hello to all! I am so sorry it has taken me 8 months to pick back up on my blog! I have missed you all!  It has been a very,very,very busy year. 

 I have started a walking club. I am getting a photography business going, which has always been a favorite hobby of mine and there is never a dull moment in my life!

 

 

 

I will be catching you all up in my next post. I just wanted to touch base with you all to tell you I am still here and will be picking up where I left off.  Also this is my final week of classes so after my final I will be a certified nutrition coach……then OMG! I have GOT to work off all this holiday fat! I have to set a good example don’t I? 

 More to come soon! Happy New Year, y’all!

This entry was posted on January 3, 2012, in Uncategorized. 1 Comment

2011…What a year already!

 

 

  OMG!  It’s almost the end of April and the things going on this year…… I need a really long vacation.  Rusty’s Mom has had some major health issues, his brother got married.  New relationships, good ones and bad ones.  Drama around every corner.  School has been going great. I got a little behind but have managed to catch up.  A new child was born into the family and a week later an aunt was hospitalized after having a heart attack. She’s doing fine now.

  I have had some fun but busy weekends.

  The wedding was really nice.  Rusty looked so handsome in his tux!   Had so much fun and danced all night. 

 I even survived my “Stripper” shoes! Yea I said “Stripper” shoes!  6″ stilettos, loaded with bling!  I have never wore shoes that high! I spotted them in the store and went “oooo Sooo pretty…” I got home with them, put them on my feet, stood up and thought I was going to get a nose bleed.  Took my first step and thought “OMG I am going to break my neck !  But at least when I am laying dead on the dance floor I will look like I am on an episode of ‘”CSI” Las Vegas.”  Any hoo I survived the “stripper” shoes.

  Rusty’s mom missed the wedding because she was hospitalized the morning of.  It was hard on her because it was her youngest son getting married.

  I have a niece graduating this year and I am very proud of her.  She asked me to take her senior pictures and I had so much fun with her.  She has turned out to be a beautiful, brilliant young woman.

Another niece turned 18 this past February and I took her zip lining.  What sooo much fun!  It will be skydiving for her 21st!

 I haven’t had too many weekends at the camp this year.  We do have solar lights now so it is really nice to walk into a room and flip a switch without the genearator being on.  Had a nice weekend with our camp neighbors/sister’s in-laws/which now are more like family.  They gifted us with a nice 12 volt TV w/ DVD player for taking care of their camp while their Rusty serves our country.  Thank you Rusty C.  He was on leave so we got to have a good visit with him.  And yes, there are two Rusty’s and the crazy thing is his wife is Louise which is my first name.  It’s all good!

  I haven’t been able to get my little 3 wheeler airborne lately because the guys decided it wasn’t running right and now have it torn to pieces.  I am beginning to think Rusty planned that just to keep me from getting wild on the thing.  He keeps telling me he is getting me a 4 wheeler but I like my little 3 wheeled hot rod!

  Went to Mobile a couple of weeks ago to the ATR 5k.  This year we made it a girls weekend and stayed on Dauphin Island.  It was so much fun and it’s been a while since I laughed that much! It was the above 40 group and boy did we  chil like penguins on muscle relaxers.

Speaking of girlfriends I had a great lunch with five friends from high school!  It was so great seeing them and the stories we reminisced about……are stories we now feel  we can share with our parents without getting grounded!  Ok…. only some.  Other stories they will never hear from these lips!  The things we did!  Can’t wait till the next time!

  Rusty’s mom had surgery day before yesterday and all is well.  I can’t say the same for my back and ass!  I didn’t realize how much sitting for 12 hours in a hospital can take out of you.  I got to work the moring and the last thing I wanted to do was put my butt in another chair! 

   It hit me at one point yesterday morning when I was sitting at work, by myself, with the phone’s ringing and deliveries showing up how tired, stress and mentally fatigued I am.  I just started crying.  Got pissed because I had to come back to work to deal with situations I shouldn’t have to deal with. Cried again. Paid some bills and now I just want to go and lay on a blanket, by a river and watch the clouds go by.  The only sound I want to hear is a few birds singing.  Don’t forget a cool breeze.  I also realized that for the past week I haven’t paid much attention to the clothes I have been wearing or what I looked like.  Today I am fashionably strutting a wrinkle t-shirt, yoga pants and flip-flops.  My face is broke out and there are dark circles under my eyes. ” I’m ready for my close-up Mr. Demille!”